Hey guys!
I’ve been struggling to put out my first official tips & tricks blog post these past few days and I thought, “There are probably a lot of people in my shoes trying to start something positive or new in their lives who would benefit from a post that kinda talks about that,” so that’s what I’ll do today! Tony Robbins always said “turn fear on itself,” so that’s what Imma do! Here are 5 things that helped me to work through my fears today and get to where I could write this post!
1. Use Fear as a Propellant
Like I mentioned before, Tony Robbins always says to turn fear on itself, and I’ve seen some other people whom I look up to like Elon Musk employ essentially the same strategy! I like to put it as using your fear as a propellant. In essence, it’s the process of noticing your fear in all its horror, then using that force to push you along.
If you’re particularly afraid of failure and/or humiliation, assess the situation and the chances of you succeeding versus those of you failing. If you know the odds of the outcome, that starts to whittle down the fear and that logical approach can really help you to get started!
Another way to look at it is to make your fear of what’ll happen if you don’t do it greater than that of actually doing it. If you’re more afraid of what you might lose by fearing to attempt, then you’ll gain the power to tackle that fear, almost like it was the human, and you were the bear!
I personally use this when things are especially crippling, but I prefer to use things that don’t shift the fear, but minimize it.
2. Stand For A Greater Cause
If you’re on this blog, I reckon that you have something to say and something to share. Like me, you may represent an idea or a group that believes in whatever you do and want to share in the world. This step has to do with harnessing that passion for that cause and using that to push you along.
In other words, if you have something important or special on your mind and a sense of duty to share with the world, let that be your propellant to take that first step and finally share it with the world!
3. Meditate
I know there are a lot of opinions on meditating and whether it works. In 2019, I was of the persuasion that it wasn’t viable for someone like me with clinical anxiety! Then when the pandemic hit, I gave it try in an effort to find a mental practice that would help me not to lose my mind in all the bedlam of the event. So, I dove headfirst into meditation, and I can say it’s the first thing since my initial mental health crisis in 2017 that literally changed my life!
I got into it with an incentive, and if you’ve found that nothing else has worked since you first tried meditating, I would use that as your incentive to give it one more try. And if you haven’t had that many odds against you, I will say that you don’t need an incentive to start meditating. It’s a meta-skill that will make a number of things easier for you if you give it a good try!
*Pro tips*
1) meditation doesn’t have to involve you sitting down with your legs crossed saying “ohm…” 😂
2) meditation can be freeform or guided (i.e. YouTube videos on topics regarding fear).
3) when you’re breathing, and you want to get back in the game as soon as you can, take one or two breaths more after the one you think should be last. It’ll fortify your peace more. (I literally used that today!)
4) if you get distracted, just bring your attention back to your breath or whatever you’re trying to center yourself with. Most people don’t tell you this, but that’s literally what meditation is all about! If you find yourself focusing, getting distracted, bringing yourself back and repeating, you’re actually doing it perfectly! If you do that consistently, your mind will start to follow down the path you’re leading it. Just keep at it! 😊
4. Affirmations
This was a major key 🔑 in helping me thrive in 2020! Many times in our lives, we’re given messages that don’t cater to our material or spiritual growth. They get hammered into us from a young age, and I think that process has been the author of a lot of people’s depression. “You can’t do that!” “Wait till there’s no risk!” “No one ever gets anything good around here, so don’t expect to be the first!”
To quote Will Smith’s Character in The Pursuit of Happyness, “People can’t do something themselves, they want to tell you you can’t do it.” I try not to worry about what people think I can’t do because they don’t know even know what’s up my sleeve half the time!
Where am I going with this? Oh yeah, those negative messages have been hammered into our heads over time and have created neural networks in our brains that cater to unproductive, anxious and/or self-sabotaging behavior. So without getting too deep into the science, what can we do about these unwanted pathways between our ears? There are many ways to come at it, thankfully, but one way that has helped me tremendously in the past 18 months has been listening to affirmations!
An affirmation is essentially a statement that you want to make true in your life. “I am brave.” “I am worthy.” “I deserve the best.” “I don’t let fear stop me.” They can be anything you want, and if you don’t feel like making any yourself, you can find literally millions on YouTube to listen to like I have. Listen to them consistently for 3 to 6 months, and you will begin to hammer new, positive thoughts into your mind!
I wish it could be a shorter timeframe, but there’s just been so much negativity in the world up to this point that it takes awhile to get down to the good stuff and start reprogramming your mind. If ever there was a single thing that got me through 2020 unscathed, it would be affirmations! These can also be done as part of or in tandem with meditation!
5. Not Reacting When Someone Discourages You
This one was the final step in getting me through today and to where I could write this post!
We have probably all had experiences where people talk down to us about our dreams at one time or another. The frustrating part is that we expect them deep down to believe in us or at least not tear us down. But that’s just it: the frustrating part. Your being frustrated with someone or something’s discouraging you is putting energy towards something that could get you much less than what you put in. Simply because even though we can influence how this happens, people ultimately have to change for themselves. The return on emotional investment can be low if they aren’t willing to change right then.
That oh so valuable energy could be used elsewhere, like toward starting your thing you want to start! 😃 If someone talks down on you, it just shows that they aren’t open to change right at that moment, and they may be afraid of something. They have to want it for themselves, and if we choose not to react emotionally and train ourselves to do that better, we can keep our operations going as planned and not get thrown off by other forces! Try it sometime! It literally helped me write this post like I said! And give it just one more crack if it gets hard. ❤️
Well, I believe that’s all I got for ya! If you got anything out of this post, please consider sharing this with people you think would benefit from hearing this, and thank you oh so much for reading! More stuff like this to come in time!
Love y’all! ❤️
Evan